I have (yet again) a confession to make. Some of you know that I was released from my call to YAC about 2 months ago now. For the most part I have been handling it well in my opinion. However, I noticed some interesting reactions from me over the past 2 months. Whenever I would talk with a student or adult about the youth ministry or the church, specifically some of the things happening in the Youth Min. area I would get pangs of anger. I have tried to suppress them (as any good Vulcan would, but I am not Vulcan I am a human). I came to realize that I am bitter. That is my confession I am bitter. I hear things about it and I think, ‘I hope it fails without me, that’ll show the leadership they needed me,’ then I think about the students, and I want it to be successful for them. I want them to grow in their relationship with God, to learn about Him, to make the Biblical text apart of them, to fellowship truthfully, to worship freely! It’s not about me it’s about them and Christ. I am fighting this urge to wish bad things upon them, not that I could impact it, but YAC is apart of the body of Christ, the same body I am a part of, and if I am bitter towards a part of the body then I have caused harm to it. So I confess I am still bitter, I confess I am conflicted, and I confess I am wrong in my attitude. I ask that you pray, that you give me grace, and that you give me any helpful advice or encouragement (notice I said helpful).
What bitterness are you harnessing?