A Confession 3

I have (yet again) a confession to make. Some of you know that I was released from my call to YAC about 2 months ago now. For the most part I have been handling it well in my opinion. However, I noticed some interesting reactions from me over the past 2 months. Whenever I would talk with a student or adult about the youth ministry or the church, specifically some of the things happening in the Youth Min. area I would get pangs of anger. I have tried to suppress them (as any good Vulcan would, but I am not Vulcan I am a human). I came to realize that I am bitter. That is my confession I am bitter. I hear things about it and I think, ‘I hope it fails without me, that’ll show the leadership they needed me,’ then I think about the students, and I want it to be successful for them. I want them to grow in their relationship with God, to learn about Him, to make the Biblical text apart of them, to fellowship truthfully, to worship freely! It’s not about me it’s about them and Christ. I am fighting this urge to wish bad things upon them, not that I could impact it, but YAC is apart of the body of Christ, the same body I am a part of, and if I am bitter towards a part of the body then I have caused harm to it. So I confess I am still bitter, I confess I am conflicted, and I confess I am wrong in my attitude. I ask that you pray, that you give me grace, and that you give me any helpful advice or encouragement (notice I said helpful).

What bitterness are you harnessing?

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5 thoughts on “A Confession 3

  1. Bitter? That would be you actually verbalizing those things and letting this situation keep you from moving forward. I see neither.

    My advice is to allow yourself to grieve the loss that you have from what happened. That is the only way the good will be remembered. Bitterness is not having human feelings about the painfulness of it all. So, you seem to be normal and obviously humble about it.

    I appreciate your heart for youth and for the church! If you had neither, you would not hurt as much as you do.

  2. C. Hanson says:

    Bitterness is an interesting fuel that can seriously tear apart you from the inside if left untreated. I also was let go of a church in California because could not financially afford or in truth they did not want to. They let me go so they could give the senior pastor a pay raise. Yes, like you i was upset and was very bitter because they did nothing for the youth, the youth God use me to reach from off the streets just fell by the wayside.Youth Pastors are not perfect but we need to forgive and recognize they were doing you a favor. Do you really want to stay in a situation that is holds you back from being where God wants you. Its tough but when we can look at is as there not letting us go but instead letting us go to the next thing God has called us towards. just what i have learned.

  3. Steve S. says:

    I share the sentiments of Rich above.

  4. willohroots says:

    What good is the salt, should the salt become bitter.

  5. REIT says:

    There is obviously a lot to know about this. There are some good points here. 🙂

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